


if the sky comes falling down

by nebulababe



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Rated Teen for swears, Spoilers for Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Spoilers for Episode: e067-069 Story and Song Parts 1-3, holy shit i actually finished a fic, twins week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-29
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-10 21:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13509924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nebulababe/pseuds/nebulababe
Summary: short and sweet ficlet contributions to twins week, one chapter per day.





	1. favorite twin

Taako is somehow both numb and furious as he points the Umbra Staff at Lucretia. How could she- She made him-

  
He lost Lup - his sister, his _everything_ \- and then _this bitch_ went and left him without even a memory of her.

  
Taako and Lup were (are, are, _are_ , she’s still out there somewhere, please, she has to be) two halves of a whole, two sides of the same coin. She’s the reason he learned magic, the reason he’s even _alive_ ; the only reason he even applied to be on that fucking extraplanar exploration nightmare was for her. She’s the one that wanted to go, and Taako simply followed.

  
Around him, everyone is talking, there’s the too-familiar sounds of the apocalypse around them, but Taako hears it all like he’s underwater. Nothing matters anymore. The only thing that ever mattered to Taako was Lup. Magnus says something to him, something about his connection to Lup and how she wouldn’t want him to give up, but Lup’s gone.

  
“I appreciate what you’re trying to do,” Taako says, and _gods_ , he’s so tired, “and I’m on board for whatever the plan is. But understand this: I have nothing, and I don’t give a shit. The world is ending, and I. Don't. Care.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my name’s skyler and i love this idiot wizard so much


	2. sibling bonding

“One time, when we were 46, Lu-”

  
“I thought we agreed never to talk about that again!”

  
“Yeah, but that’s before you got a boyfriend I could embarrass you in front of.”

  
“Fuck off!” Lup grabs the pillow next to her and smacks Taako with it. Repeatedly.

  
“Barry! Barold, help! My evil twin is trying to kill me!” Barry, sat at the foot of the bed and away from the two elves that were now basically wrestling, holds his hands up.

  
“Nope, not interfering. I learned my lesson about five cycles in.”

  
Lup currently has Taako in a chokehold and is noogie-ing him mercilessly as Taako wails about how she’s ruining his hair. “Really? It took you five whole cycles? I thought you were some sorta genius, babe.”

  
Barry pushes his glasses back up his nose. “Maybe, maybe _not_ ,” he throws his weight forward on the “not” and latches his arms around Lup’s waist, pulling her (and by extension Taako) down onto the bed with him.

  
His girlfriend gives him a very dramatic look of betrayal that is completely ruined by the grin she fails to hide. “Et tu, Barold?”

  
Barry grins back at her and starts kissing her face - nose, cheeks, forehead, everywhere he can reach - until Lup’s red-faced from laughing.

  
“You’re both gross,” Taako moans, and he flops over onto the two of them with enough force to knock the air out of their lungs.

  
“Love you, too, Taako.”

  
“Love ya, bro.”

  
“Yeah, yeah. I love you nerds, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> barold is an integral part of this family unit thanks for coming to my ted talk
> 
> —
> 
> sorry i missed a day! i got hit with the flu and it’s draining all my energy. i’ll try to double update tomorrow to get back on track.


	3. childhood

Lup watches anxiously as her brother sets up a ridiculous amount of potions and spell components on the bathroom counter.

“Taako, wait-” She grabs his wrist, and if her hands are shaking, well, who could blame her.

Her face must’ve been showing more worry than she thought, because as soon as Taako turned around, he pulls her into a hug. After a moment, he pulls away and holds her face in his hands.

“Lulu, do you want this?”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me?”

“What sort of question is that? Of course I do.”

Putting their foreheads together, with Lup’s hands coming up to cover his own, Taako meets her gaze with a rare intensity. “Then let me do this for you.”

—

“HOLY SHIT, IT WORKED!” Lup shrieks and all but tackles her brother in a hug. They’re both crying and clinging to each other, swaying, until Lup suddenly bursts into giggles.

“What?”

“Hugging is weird with boobs,” she says, and now both of them are laughing, so much that it hurts. They sink to the floor, still holding each other and so, so happy.

“So,” Taako starts once they’ve calmed down, though they’re both still grinning, “was I right or was I right?”

“Yes, Taako, you were right. You are the dopest transmutation wizard ever, and at the tender age of 32 have completely outdone every apothecary-certified transitioning program in existence.”

“You also owe me ten bucks.”

“You’re never going to shut up about this, are you?”

“Hell no, I’m not! I’m already planning how to put this into my best ma-”

“I swear to all the gods, Taako, if you talk about the fact that you made my genitals at my wedding, I will literally murder you.”

He grins. “Worth it, tho.”

They sit in silence for a minute, Lup’s head on Taako’s shoulder and his head on hers.

“Thanks, Koko.”

“Anything for you, Lulu.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case it’s not clear what this is about, the twins are 32 (elves aren’t considered adults until at least 100, so this counts as childhood) and taako has effectively DIY’d lup the fantasy versions of HRT, top and bottom surgery, and all that other fun stuff. as an lgbt person myself, i didnt wanna write sad homeless lgbt kids, so here’s some happy shit instead.


	4. free space/headcanons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here’s some super informal bullet point headcanons i have of the twins! im posting this from my phone so the formatting isn’t exactly how i meant it to be, but i’ll fix it next time i’m at my computer.

  * neither twin knows which one is older
  * the main way people tell them apart is by color scheme - taako dresses in brighter colors than lup does
  * they’re sun elves
  * they naturally have blond hair, but it’s not unusual for one of them to charm their hair another color when the mood strikes
  * their “recorded states” on the starblaster had lup with longer hair and taako with shorter hair
  * lup would usually cut hers into a shorter style within the first few months
  * taako would try to grow his out, so by about six months into a cycle they’d be more identical than at the start
  * (when lucretia sees him again after a decade, his hair is incredibly long and styled almost exactly the way lup’s was in their recorded state)
  * they’re unfairly tall



 

  * taako has a weird dad/brother relationship with angus and then a weird grandpa/uncle relationship with angus’s descendants
  * one time angus accidentally calls taako “dad” and it’s weird and neither of them know how to react
  * taako gets a deal working for the raven queen after he dies (bc like hell are his husband, sister, and brother-in-law going to let anything else happen)
  * he’s not a bounty hunter like they are tho
  * instead he guides lost souls to the astral plane - ones that died sudden, confusing deaths and can’t make their way to the afterlife on their own
  * bc let’s face it, taako is a very caring individual and fuck it this man has been through so much and seen too much of the bad in the world and i just want his afterlife to be free from fighting bad guys
  * i dont know why i feel so strongly about this but i do
  * taako doesn’t actually wear skirts all the time!!! every fuckin fic describes him as only ever wearing skirts and dresses and basically being a fashion god 24/7 but consider a taako who:
  * wears baggy jeans, floral combat boots, and a crop top with his fuckin wizard hat
  * can and will walk around the moonbase in the pants and jacket of a nice suit with a ratty old shirt he stole out of magnus’s closet
  * has so many different aesthetics and switches between them frequently and gleefully. there was a betting pool at the BoB for what taako would wear
  * (avi once got 50 GP for predicting that taako would wear, for at least three days in a row, a normal outfit but with a ridiculous, fluffy pink coat he picked up at a fantasy thrift store)



 

  * lup first realized she had a crush on barry when she found him asleep in the starblaster lab with his head cushioned on plans for candlenights gifts that he was going to create himself
  * picks up instruments very quickly, coulda been a bard if she hadn’t liked blowing shit up so much
  * (or had ready access to instruments during childhood)
  * she’s one of those people that can fall asleep anywhere
  * lup and lucretia are close as hell. they were the only two women on a ship for a century, you better believe there were girls’ nights galore
  * will do anything if you dare her
  * she and barry have officially tied the knot in four different planar systems
  * she may have also accidentally become consort to a princess one cycle




	5. taako ship

Life with Kravitz is weird. Good, but weird. Neither of them are used to having someone there to take care of them (Taako has Lup, but Taako also has memories a childhood spent alone and fending for himself. There wasn’t much room for softness on the road either way). Sometimes Kravitz has to spends days at a time handling a situation with a rogue soul or necromancer. He comes home at the end of it exhausted, almost too tired to maintain his “living” form, and for the first time since his death has gentle hands guiding him into a warm bed, rubbing at sore muscles, holding him as he falls asleep. Some days Taako gets stuck back in the mentality he used as a security blanket for a century and a lifetime, and Kravitz will still look at him with so much love and so much kindness, is still gentle enough to blunt Taako’s jagged edges.

 

They both have nightmares, have memories they wish they could forget. Kravitz flinches at the feel of liquid, panics when confronted with oceans and swimming pools and bath tubs. He is immortal, with no need for breathing, but being trapped in the Hunger, cut off from his goddess and any form of help, not knowing what waited for him if he sank too far down, felt too much like drowning. More often than he cares to admit, Taako will get out all the ingredients for a meal and be halfway through the preparations when the shaking in his hands makes him drop whatever he tries to hold, and he’ll go find Kravitz and flash an almost convincing smile while suggesting they go out for dinner instead. He uses at least two methods for checking for poison at every meal and even then will make sure he’s the first one to take a bite of every dish.

 

But they help each other through.


	6. lup ship

Lup leans up against a tree and watches Lucretia sketch a particularly weird-looking… something. She thinks it’s supposed to be this plane’s equivalent to a squirrel. Either way, Lucretia’s tempted it close with bits of food, tossing it a bit more every few minutes to keep it in place. The scene is so cute Lup wishes she’d brought a camera.

 

“Hey, Luce,” she says after the critter has run off. “Maggie said something about hot springs, yeah? Wanna check ‘em out?”

 

——

 

The hot springs take longer than expected to find, so when they do it’s the middle of this plane’s unusually lengthy day and Lup’s muscles are sore from all this hiking.

 

“Oh, thank _fuck_ , we’re here.”

 

Lucretia laughs and starts to get out her journals and other nerd stuff, but freezes mid-motion when she glances up and sees Lup taking her shirt off.

 

It takes her a moment to realize she’s staring. “What are you doing?”

 

“Relaxing,” the elf grins, shimmying out of her pants. “You gonna join me?”

 

“Uh…” is Lucretia’s eloquent response. Lup hasn’t cut her hair yet this cycle, and Lucretia watches her gather it on top of her head and tie it into a bun. The other woman raises her eyebrows and Lucretia jumps to her feet. “Um, yes. Yeah.”

 

And then they’re in a hot spring together in only their underwear and Lucretia is so hyperaware of the situation that she can’t properly enjoy herself the way Lup seems to be doing five feet away. The blonde has her head resting on the side of the pool, and Lucretia thinks for a moment that she might be sleeping until she cracks an eye open.

 

“Like what you see, Luce?” she grins.

 

“Yes,” she responds without thinking, and both their eyes widen. “I mean! Uh. Shit- Fuck, I’m sorry, I- I’m so sorry, I’ll just-” Lucretia makes to get up and out of the pool, sure that Lup would be uncomfortable now, but then she lunges forward and grabs Lucretia’s wrist where it’s on the ledge.

 

“Wait, Lucretia-” They’re so close now, Lucretia looking down at Lup from where she’s halfway out of the water already. She slides back down, and Lucretia’s tall but Lup is even taller. Their faces are only inches away from each other. Neither of them say a word for what feels like hours.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Lup asks.

 

Lucretia closes the gap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two girls chillin in a hot tub five feet apart cuz there’s a lot of UST


	7. post canon

“Barold, what the _fuck_ are you doing in my kitchen?”

 

Barry drops the bowl he was holding. “Oh! Uh, I was, um, just trying to make breakfast?”

 

“Yeah, but _why_? You’re bunking with the two best chefs in multiple planar systems.” Taako makes his way over to the bowl and its spilled contents. He’s clearly just woken up, hair piled in a bun on his head and wearing silk pajamas with a matching housecoat. “Pancakes? My dearest and favorite brother-in-law, do you have a _problem_ with my pancakes?”

 

“I’m your only brother-in-law, Taako,” Barry pushes his glasses back up his nose and then runs his hand through his hair. “I was trying to make breakfast for, uh, for Lup.” He moves to get a rag to clean up with while Taako picks up the bowl. “It’s our anniversary. Or, I mean, as close as I can figure to it, at least. Since Legato used a different calendar from Faerûn’s.”

 

With most of the mess cleaned up and the rest vanished with a wave of Taako’s hand, the wizard hoists himself up to sit on the counter by the stove. “So you’re gonna make her breakfast in bed? That’s some cute shit. What else you got planned? Need me an’ Krav to clear out for the day?”

 

“No, no, I’m gonna take her to a Goldcliff wagon race.”

 

“Meaning…?”

 

“Meaning she and I are going to team up with Sloane and Hurley and win a Goldcliff wagon race.”

 

“Atta boy!” Taako gives Barry a playful shove, pours himself a cup of coffee from the carafe beside him, and hops down from the counter. “Have fun with your pancakes, my dude.”

 

As he’s about to leave the room, the elf turns around and attempts to point at Barry with the hand holding his coffee. “Oh! Don’t forget, we got Ango’s thing to go to tomorrow.”

 

“It starts at one, right?”

 

“Food starts at one, actual thing starts at noon.”

 

“Got it.”

 

This time, Taako actually does leave, and Barry hears from the hall, “Have fun kicking ass with my sister!”

 

He laughs. “Always do!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “ango’s thing” is a backyard barbeque where he and his parter are going to announce their engagement. there will be tears, and quite a few of them will be taako’s.


End file.
